I attribute some of it to genes (my paternal grandmother struggled with the same) some of it to my family of origin (messy and a bit dysfunctional like most families) part of it to situation, (when things dont go my way) and part of it to nutrition and excercise (or lack there of).
I was depressed this week. Just funk-i-fied....didnt feel motivated to do anything, wanted to sleep, was generally annoyed by people...all the classic signs of depression. We had off Monday and Tuesday was a work day (no school). I hate being out of my routine. I honestly think sometimes I dont know how to handle free time. It always makes me feel a bit unanchored. I just wanted to lie on the sofa for hours and watch reruns of Will and Grace. Which I did after school for several days.
I also had an ass kicking sinus infection.
When I woke up today, it was as if the clouds had cleared and I realized something...I hadnt been depressed, Id been SICK!
How is it that Im almost 40 years old and I cant tell sickness from depression?
Dont get me wrong, Im sure there is lots of crap in my life that I SHOULD be depressed over, but I was so shocked that I had thought I was depressed when I was actually sick.
This reminded me of this fall when I was actually SAD for the first time in my life (that I can remember) without being depressed. I was sad about things at school, I was sad about my friends LeighAnne and Dustin and his injury, but I wasnt actually depressed.
New ground for me.
While I was shocked to learn this about myself, I am also glad that the clouds have cleared. I feel better, and definately NOT depressed.
3 comments:
As we've often discussed, Funk-i-fication (not to be confused with (Funkified) can be a good thing. It causes you to look inward then upward, gives you better perspective and causes you to be still and know that He is God.
why is it that a change of the smallest thing can send me crawling under the covers? the shadow over my shoulder of my depression always has me worried.....it is good to have a sad day w/o it being the end of the world... it is a victory. i am glad that even when i am depressed, christ is my victor.
Wow Patty, I just realized that Ulyses blog links to yours, so I am commenting on your depression part. I am the queen of depression! Let me tell you, for the FIRST time in 18 years, I have come off my anti-depressants - NOT an easy thing to accomplish since my sons death. I have now been off 4 months. Amazing! I am dealing with reality for the 1st time in a long time. AMAZING! And there are those days when the covers seem to call my name, but somehow the Lord tells me, Brenda, put your feet over the side of the bed and go to work! U is right, we must Be Still and Know that He is God!
Brenda L. (Miss you girl!)
Post a Comment