Wednesday, February 7, 2007

Living in the Present




After the first round of Pictionary Junior I was bored.
After the second round, I my mind was drifting to other things.
After the the third round I was thinking..."How much longer can this go on...I mean we are not even playing by the rules."

Kaitlin has been sick for three days. Thus I am home with her by default.

Im a big "DO-er" so I find "BE-ing" be be very difficult. This is something I continually struggle with...I know very well that it dove tails with my desire for order and control. Plus when you are busy "doing" you dont have to look at the ickiness that lurks beneath.

Im generally more worried about what is going to happen next than what is happening right now. I wonder if other people struggle with this. Im so busy planning the next thing and working out all the details of that that I miss what is happening in front of me. I suck at "being present".

Im working on it and was reminded of that by the girl. She could have cared less about what we were going to do next but what we were doing right that second...rules or not, she was living in the moment of playing pictionary. I wonder if it is a kid thing...you know....if that makes it easier because kids dont have the responsiblities of adults. What is difficult for me is that I often think...if I dont do such and such...lets say make dinner...its not going to get done. I find the tension of being responsible and living in the moment to be one that Im not very good at mastering.

So, what am I doing now? Honestly, Id love to do my lesson plans, but instead im going to join the girl in trying to bead a bracelet....and Im trying to remember to live in the moment.

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