Best Friends

I gave up the idea of "best friends" along time ago.

Of course in middle school I had a best friend...and in high school too. My two cousins who were my age, one boy and one girl ,were my confidants all the way from diapers to college. In college there were my roomates too...(college is a glorious unique time with friends...but that is a whole nother topic for another blog)

I have come to see my friends as all bringing different things to the table. No one single relationship can be everything...everyone has different gifts or things I love about them. Some of them are similar, but everyone in unique.

Ive also come to realize that friendships have seasons. The women I was very very close with when I was single was different than the ones I was close with while the girl was a baby and are different than the ones that are closest to me now. Its not that those previous relationships have necessarily ended as just they have changed.

I think of my long time friend D...who went to hell and back with me through the death of my father and through many many difficult times. We used to have a standing lunch date on Saturday's with K at Miami Subs when there was still one on 436. For a long time she worked and I was home and now I work and she is home. Our lives grew in different directions but not necessarily apart. Friendships change.

It took me a long time to realize that change is not necessarily a signal of something bad. Sometimes it is was it is. God moves us according to his will. And its okay.

One thing I cannot stand is people who are "possessive" in friendships. Many friends fill my needs and so I dont expect to fulfill anyone's needs completely. I think this is why I dont think the idea of "best friends" necessarily fit well. (especially in my own life)

I wil tell you l one thing I just love about friends is when they have a sense of humor...I love to laugh and enjoy people who are funny. I love quick wit and silliness

Another trait I value highly is the trait of vulnerability and being honest. I dont want a plastic friendship...I want to know people's hearts and what they struggle with and what is going on in their lives.....what God is doing with them.

Truth be told I enjoy friendships with guys too...in the most appropriate non-sexual way possible. My male friends tend to be the husbands of my women friends because we do lots of stuff as couples... Men bring a different perspective to the table...their lives are completely removed from alot of the crap that women deal with in their friendships and that is refreshing. They are also just wired differently and so they come to different conclusions then my women friends.

And of course my husband, well he is in the best category of his own!! (that too is another blog for another day!)