Monday, September 3, 2007

Because levity is a good thing...

I hate to admit it,

but I do love a good REDNECK joke....





Ya might be a Redneck if........









You think the nutcracker is somethin you did off the high dive. ...

You wont stop at a rest area if you have a empty beer can in the car. ...

You think Iraq is top-of-the-line Camaro. ...

Your spring wardrabe mostly involves scissors. ...

you know atleast 6 ways to bend a baseball cap. ...

you own a lava lamp thats over 5 feet tall. ...

there are more than 10 cats livin under your trailer. ...

you've ever thrown up in a squad car. ...

your frist bra was a Wonderbra. ...

you've ever had to appear in court due to your dogs. ...

You think Thunderbird is an acceptable wine choice with a bean burrito. ...

your grandma enters wet t-shrit contests. ...

your local grocery store also has a few pool tables. ...

your septic tank is the subject of a petition. ...

you have ever tried to use food stamps to mail a watermelon. ...

you had to hitchhike on your honeymoon. ...y

our car and its motor are more than ten feet apart. ...

stealing road signs is a family outing. ...

your brother-in-law is also your uncle. ...

you sent out birth announcements for your new puppies. ...

you've changed a diaper on a Denny's table. ...

you've ever named a child for a good dog. ...

your T.V. is on 24-7. ...

your last keg party included a couple of 911 calls. ...

you have to mow around a refridgeator and a bed frame. ...

you've ever taken a date flowers you stole from a cemetery. ...

Everyone in the house learns somthing from the potty training videotape. ...

Diners change tables when your family sits near them. ...

your prom dress was knitted. ...

you were born with a plastic spoon in your mouth. ...

your bridal veil was made of window screen. ...

you think people who have elictricty are uppity. ...

your college graduation ceremony includes parallel parking an 18-wheeler. ...

the Marlboro man is your idol. ...

all your golf balls come in egg cartons.

2 comments:

Vicki said...

Did you interview someone I love to get these answers...?

Roses in December said...

I can't stop laughing. Oh my word, Here's one, you know you're a redneck if it takes two people to figure out "automatic" on the paper towel dispenser, doesn't mean your not driving a stick shift!
I had to cry at some I was laughing so hard. And I resent that "gramma having a wet t-shirt contest". We do those things up here - hey that's the highlight of the month around these parts of the mountains. :) :) Grampa looks forward to those.B