Getting Claire II

To continue from yesterday...



Once we arrived at the hospital we had to wait a bit until the birth mother was done signing the papers. As we waited and paced and looked at every display in the hospital waiting area the nursing shift was changing. Just watching people was entertaining and that helped keep us occupied. We were just sitting there when I realized I KNEW one of the people walking towards us.



It was the birth father. We made eye contact and nodded, but dang...talk about AWKARD...it was a very surreal feeling. Very odd and weird to know that this man was the father of our child.



Never was a phone call so waited for as the one in which the social worker called down and told us that everything was signed. Officially, at least on paper, the baby was ours!



Finally we were able to go to the labor and delivery floor and then we had some paperwork to sign. And then our social worker told us we could go into the room where Claire's birth parents were.





Looking back, I will say that I truly wish that we had been prepared a bit more by the adoption agency. I know they dont like to pre dispose you , however, E and I were both really suprised about the intenisity of the evening, but also how we felt like we were flying blind...we didnt really know the "steps" that were going to be taken. Maybe its unpredictable and each placement is different, but I do wish we had been given some guidelines about how it was going to go. Additionally, and Ill get to this in a moment, we were very suprised by the sadness surrounding actually getting Claire. I guess in your head, or at least mine, you think that getting a baby is a happy, joyful event. Indeed, it is. However, in this situation, there was also much much sadness and greif on the part of the birth mother. Im getting sidetracked...let me take the story back up.





We walked down to the birth mother's room and the social worker said we could go into the room. The mom was sitting on the bed holding the baby and the baby's father was sitting next to the bed. Also in the room were the birth mother's grandmother and the aunt who raised her. Additionally, there was me and E , our social worker, and the birth mother's social worker. Full house to say the least.





It was amazing how difficult this situation was. I mean, what is the ettiquette for recieving another woman's child? There is none. E sort of hung back and I went right in and gave the mom a huge and oohed and ahhed over Claire (who wasnt Claire yet...) She was so tiny and dark haired and had these gorgeous rose bud lips. I was suprised at her...mainly because Kaitlin had been such a delicate, tiny, blonde baby...I know I was expecting to see a similar baby...or at least a bald baby but Claire was fat and dark and just yummy all over!!





I told the birth mom that I had brought a little outfit for the baby and asked if she would like to be the one to dress her in it and she softly said that she would and she would like to change her one last time. We attempted small talk while she did this. It was really hard. It was like you could feel the sadness in the room bigger than life. Honestly, I had no idea how she was going to give me that baby. I had no idea it would be this hard.





The social worker suggested that we all step out of the room to allow the parents to say their final good-byes and so we all left. The grandmother gave both E and I a tight hug and said she needed to go...she was crying but she said, " I can tell you all are such good people. Thank you for taking care of this baby." And she walked away. The aunt was so sweet and she too hugged us and told us how the birth mother was so glad it was us and even though it was hard that she knew we were the right people to be parents to this baby. She also said that I reminded the birth mother of her own mother and that was a big pull for her. That she had a great deal of comfort from that. E was so great in this situation. He told the aunt several things to tell the birthmother after we had left...mostly that we would always esteem her to this baby, that we would always love the baby and that we were so so grateful that she had this pregnancy and did not terminate it. He also asked that the aunt share with the birth mother that we had been praying specifically for her and would continue to throughout the next several months because we knew it was hard.

....sorry this is in installments...more tomorrow, I have to tend to "the screamer!!!
"




Okay...more tomorrow!