Come Again???

Yesterday was a crappy day---the start to a crappy week! It started out being Monday...which is bad enough, but when I went to work early to get some things done I opened my email and found the email from a frustrated parent. Never mind that she was probably not frustrated with me, but with her child, her email hurt...more than Id like to admit.

I know I am a good teacher, and yet it never fails to amaze me how I can do many many good and right things each day and its the one harsh comment that undoes me. I spent a good portion of the morning re evaluating myself and questioning myself. Trying to reassume myself that I really am a good teacher and know what I am doing. The power of words is incredible. (and im not even going to touch the theological aspects of that previous statement...because actually I know my worth is not found in my job but in Christ....but that is a topic for another day!)

The rest of the day was spent managing small crises...other parents asking questions, tutors needed calling,students needed help, Co workers needed help....it was just bouncing from one issue and task to another not being able to really fully be anywhere.

I dont do well with this sort of structure. Some people thrive on it...I know. I think of my friend Diane who could accomplish so many things at one time. It took me forever to get that I am me and she is she and that is okay that we do things differently and are wired differently.

My dear friends Debbie and Leslie are so helpful to me in times like this. Debbie is my clarity. She has the gift of exortation and she can say things directly with love and it doenst wound me terribly. Leslie is my empath...she is a mud sitter....she will simply listen. She doesnt try to fix it...she just empathizes. She gets in the situation with you. Two incredible women with different and amazing gifts. They are so much a part of why I love working where I do!!

Today I had a converstaion with a student to whom I am not particulariy drawn. She is not a soft student...Im not pulled to her to serve her or listen to her. And yet she is on a precipice...someone who is at risk. She is one of those kids who dont really give back to you....not that teenagers do by their very definition, but she is tough. And yet I had heard things regarding her that I knew needed addressing. Believe me...Im not someone who ever needs to sit in judgement of another person, teenager or not. But, I addressed it with her.What amazed me was that she was still not very warm...still very guarded. But, when I asked if she had anyone who would keep her accountable...someone who she could trust to keep her toes on firm land and she couldnt think of one. So she said..." Well...I think the only person who I would listen to and who could actually keep me accountable is you."

Dead stop.

Come again????

Wait wait wait wait wait...... How did this happen.

Even in the crappiest of weeks God shows up....I dont get it. I dont understand at the times when i have the least to give, the smallest amount of desire to serve he shows up. I supppose that is what is meant by Christianity not being a safe religion...that it invades.

Hmmmmmmmm....More thoughts on this another time.