Putting down the Boobah (that was our pet name for Dexter...long before the oddly named cartoon Boobah ever came into existence) was truly one of the hardest things I have done in years. The vet was so incredibly gracious and so was his staff because I literally could not talk when I walked in the office. They provided kleenex and didnt laugh when I snorted because I was crying so hard.
Im so glad that i got to be with him as they did it. Im glad that I got to say good-bye and Im so glad that we got to take him home and bury him. There is good closure in that...but it doesnt make it hurt less. E and the girl and I all bawled and cried and cried for about 15 minutes as we buried him. I dont know who was the most distraught.
E and I were commenting on how if we felt this badly with an animal, how must parents feel who loose their children. I cannot imagine as I know my grief only touches a tiny part of that that must feel like. I realize that Dexter was just an animal. He was not a person and yet he was an integral part of our life for the past 15 years ago. He lived in every apartment and house that Eric and I ever lived in together.
I forgot that being sad is tiring. Im ready to unplug today and just chill. Perhaps is was good to be so busy these past few days. I know I had a huge headache on Friday from crying on Thursday and when I woke up on Friday I did laugh at myself so swollen were my eyes.
That cat will forever remain as my dearest love. I know more cats will come and go in my life. He has a special place in it however, and always will.
4 comments:
Cry as much as you need to. If you want to, try writing a remebrance for Dexter in the form a poem or a short letter, and frame it for awhile. I'm so sorry you are hurting.
oops... misspelled remembrance... I try to be literate but sometimes I slip.
Patti, don't forget you are loved. I am so sorry for you about Dexter. :(
P.S. Be sure and post the paper towel moment too. Or I will beat you to it.
Love,
B
Yea he was an animal but he was also part of your family.. I can't imagine how you feel right now! I'm so sorry P.Shivs!
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