We never do well transitioning from tax season to non tax season or visa versa. For some reason this year has been a more "rough re-entry" into normal life. Its like every one has to adjust again. Me to stop doing everything, E to start doing stuff, the girl to not defer to me on every thing, Me to chill more, E to realize he CAN chill now. We just arent very good at it and it usually takes about a month before we all stop stepping on each others toes and annyoing the crap out of each other.
Weekends are especially difficult because the girl and I are used to doing our own thing. E is used to running a million miles an hour and working every weekend. He doenst know how to balance the getting stuff done with relaxing. I get pissy because there is another opinion to consider besides my own. Its hard. Even though I remind myself that its like this every year it doesnt make it easier.
It was helpful to realize that this phenonmeon was not unique to us.
At the end of tax season party I was interested to learn how other families dealt with this and got the following:
- "My kids are horrible the last month cause Dad isnt around...then they are horrible the next month because he IS around and being Dad!!"
- "Its hard to get back to normal because normal has become abnormal"
Interesting and helpful...it made me not feel so alone. Not, mind you, that it makes it easier, cause its still hard... I also believe its us being selfish. I want what I want and he wants what he wants and neither of us wants ot bend to the other.
And then there is the issue of having fun...you havent had fun together for about 2 months and its hard to get back to that place of being lighthearted and easy after such an intense time.
Tonite was sweet thought. E came home and the girl had already eaten and she was on the computer. E and I ate (dinner is NEVER formal at our house) and she hung out on the kitchen counter jabbering away like a myna bird. After dinner I cut up some fresh gooey brownies and we went into the famiy room and played charades. OH MY...it was too funny. If the girl asked once to use a prop she asked 10 times. (the answer was always...NO YOU DONT USE PROPS IN CHARADES!!) We had a good, much needed silly time.
Right now she is reading on the sofa with her feet in her Daddy's lap and he is sound alseep..the cat is on her tummy and the dishwasher going. Its peaceful....its sweet...
I think we are on the way to working it out.
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