its good...or is it?

Our new building is so spacious!

After being literally on top of each other for several years...sharing rooms, teaching in places that were not classrooms...sharing offices, its amazing to have all this space!



This has had several effects that I can see so. First of all, people are not as cranky. Im sure there is a mathematical relationship to the proximity and number of people who come into your space and your mood. Seriously...having more personal space, not sharing every single thing has got to be good for people's moods and disposition. I can see it in the faculty and I see it in the kids.

Another effect I see is that Im actually able to get work done when I need to get work done. Previously my office opened directly into the hallway and every 45 minutes there would be a slew of interuptions during the passing periods. Also, people just passing by felt the necessity to pop in should they see you in your office. Now my office is within the admin offices... it gives a buffer zone.

The bad part of the above is that there ISNT as much interaction with the students. I have to purpose to go out and interface with the students. I try to get into the classrooms and be around at lunch and break, but its oddly different. Im sure part of it too is that perhaps Im not investing as much as I have in previous years, knowing im going to be out 4 out of the 5 days of the week soon once baby arrives.

Not teaching adds to that as well...I miss being with the students in that format--I miss the "performing" and the educating part of it alot. I know its temporary and that its always going to be there when I get back...I know that Ill always love teaching, want to teach and BE a teacher. Its in my blood. Its what I do...its part of my identity.

I suppose Ive felt a measure of sadness too at the changes that have occured (new building and not being in the classroom) and that will occur shortly (getting Little Miss). Its very interesting to me because having desired a baby for so long, one would think that I would be chomping at the bit to be done with work and be home full time. Part of that is true. Believe me, I am excited beyond belief, but I also leave a job that I love and enjoy, one that is tremendously satisfying and fulfilling. There is a measure of sadness in that and also a little bit of fear too.

E says that this sort of sadness is a good thing. That it means that I am content and blessed by where I am now and that that is a thing to rejoice in. And that the unknown doesnt always mean changing something good for something not good, but rather something good for something different. And different isnt bad. Its just different.